Vienna Brussels The End (4) People Gossip

In case you need more gossip. Here is some info on the pax. Starting with the people who were on the post in Brussels.

The Kloeps (pronounce Clayps) are weird. I have not seen them laugh quite often. They were always on the own. Wore orange hats with all kinds of pins of the places they had visited. Mr Kloep went to ALL the churches on his way. He loved them all. He even went to the Basiliek of Koekelberg. Mrs Kloep was the third smoker, always smoking with Puffy but never talking to her. I gave her chocolates for her b day on the post trip and she loved it.

You all know Puffy (Elaine Bender) by now. She was funny though. One evening Arjan and I were sitting in the bar listening to hiphop music with the bargirl Jana and Puffy joined us. Arjan started dancing and asking Puffy to dance to. Ask me how the Puffy dance goes. I’ll show you.

The Stellings turned out to be great people and very funny. He was this Irish German catholic guy who married an Orangist Irish Dutch girl. Fire!!! Now they are Unitarians. Mrs Wilding Smith’s husband was a Pullitzer prize nominee and wrote for the Boston Globe. She confessed never wanting to travel on her own again as she was constantly annoyed by other single travellers like Elaine and Florence. Florence you know by now as well.

There were three couples from New York who really got along. The pumas are really great. They love their president, but they are funny. Mr Puma is really funny. He is a lawyer and very petite. He loves to nag but his wife makes a fool out of him when he does. His name is Tony and he really sounds like a Soprano. Puffy asked in front of everybody if he was part of ‘the family’ to which he replied with a grin ‘there is no such thing as maffia’ Mr Shortell is a really nice guy; of Irish descent. I really liked him, but he is ‘just an accountant’ like Mr Puma told me. Alan Edelman and Myra Goldfarb where jewish who only recently met. I liked them. Very chauvenist guy and also pro Bush, but in the end a nice guy. The Schotts hung out with them as well but they are from San Diego. He is an old farmer but now buys houses, remodels them and then sells them. He remodelled 4 houses in 7 years or so. He is cool. Made fun of the Yankees from New York. I can stay at their place any time. He is 76 and incredibly fit. Only takes one pill a say and ‘it’s not viagra’.

The Sneaths are the sweetest travellers you can imagine. Really. They are realty nice and so petite. They look like each other. A bit quiet but always interested in learning more. Just like Joan and Arline, two sisters who were in Arjans group on the ship but did the post. Very nice people. I love those people the most. They just listen to everyting you say and never cause any trouble. The other people from Arjan who joined me were fine. Mr Anderson looked a bit annoyed all the time, but I had a good talk with him walking to the north station and back. The Addisons were also weird. Like from another planet. He was 6’5’’ or so and ideal to walk in front as an alternative for a flag. She was like 80y olds and wore walking boots like only young hikers wear. The Callens were also very strange. She was a bitch at times. Critizing everyting. But in the end they really liked me. She’s the one who wants me to meet her single daughter. The Gilmores were so nice. Mr Gilmore was a bit confused but he looked so sweet. You would take him home. He is the one who spoke Flemish to me as he had once given a speech in Leuven; learning a few introductory lines in Flemish by heart. I also liked the Giardina’s as well. He is an italo American from Boston and she a polish American. They were both very nice. The only couple I did not talk about that much were Gail and Peter. They were very independent and I did not see them that much.

Some people from the other groups really made a lasting impression. In Arjans group there was Elizabeth Sullivan who I absolutely LOVED. I don’t know how old she is, but she is the life of the party. Honestly, always in for a joke always happy always out there to try new things: She had crazy humor that was so typical for us thirty year olds. She is like the person who would walk silently to someone who is watching the scenery over a railing and then slap them on the back, scaring them but saying ‘saved you from drowning’. Hilarious. I mean, she can cause heart attacks doing that with the old folk, but she did. I dance a rumba with her. Her travel Mrs Albrecht partner was jealous and came to ask me for a dance too. Mr Brown did not say much but he was memorable for the face he had. Half of it was replaced by skin and plastic. He did not have an ear for instance. Just a little tiny hole. I never asked what happened but it was strange. The Balbachs were great people. Laughing a lot, but never stealing the show. Kthryn Jansky looked 35 but was 52. Arjan and I betted on her age. You could tell looking at her hands that she was older, but she was so active and very young at heart. I don’t think she had a lot of plastic surgery but she did a lot of sports. Great funny woman as well. Mr Hughes took the best picture of the pope and was always in for competition.

Rebecca’s group was in Vienna, so I knew her group better. She had 12 people who were part of the Knights Of Columbus, a catholic church from Boston. Very Patriotic. They were a bit stupid, made carreers in the army, and very loud, but they were quiet when they had to and they loved Rebecca. If they had been in Brussels I would have sent them on a pub crawl. Mr Mucci (who I called MUKKI instead of the Italian pronunciation) was the biggest guy but the sweetest. His wife and I danced a few walzes as he wanted to dance with Rebecca. Mr Holmes was the strangest one. He ended up falling as well and hurting his hip and arm. He was the one who did not understand why Rebecca talked about Nazis as being other kind of people than her ancestors. Mr MacShane had an American eagle and flag tattood on his body and wore American flag jackets ALL the time. A guy you do not want to mess with but he liked me. Mr Fitzpatrick was funny in the beginning but then repeated his jokes throughout the entire trip.

Of all passengers Mr Britto was the coolest; He ended up playing the Lorelei as Arjan and I both decided not to dress up as a mermaid. He was cool though. He was the live of the party. During the Red light district he came to me and said: what did Snow White say to Pinoccio? Answer: Lie, Don’t Lie, Lie, Don’t Lie, Lie Don’t Lie…. His wife was cool too. So were the Francois and the Jondahls. Mr Wheeler was funny too. His wife invited me over at their place in Illinois as well. I am watching the list and I already cannot put faces to the names anymore. I last saw them on fridaynight.

Brussels Vienna The End (3) Departure Day

4 30 am I wake up and head down to say goodbye to the first people to leave. Jamal is the driver of the transfers and asks me where the luggage is. Of course nobody had told the night shit guy that he had to collect luggage at 4 15. My giving 4 copies of the departure sheet to the hotel staff did not help at all. There are also no breakfast boxes.

4 40 am. The bus leaves with delay but with the luggage. Mr Gilmore says in perfect Flemish: Dank u; u bent fantastisch. He and his wife had met old friends who live in Belgium. The people leave having gotten a breakfast box with one apple, one croissant and one soya milk can. That is it. BOOOO.

5 30 am Ricardo calls me he has found the camera and will bring it to the hotel.

6 00 am I get up to meet Ricardo. The Andderson are there already. I ask Ricardo if he can drop off at the station, which he wants to do. All well in the end for the anderssons

6 15 am Ricardo is back with the Andersons. They forgot their passport and tickets. We go upstairs, but don’t find anything in the room. We unload the luggage, open it and find the necessary documents. In the meantime Jamal is back with the transfer bus. Jamal and Ricardo do not get along and Jamal accuses Ricardo for taking a job from him. I have to intervene. The Andersons end up going with Ricardo to the train station.

6 30 am I said goodby to the next load of departures and head back to bed but can’t get to sleep at all. I feel too tired to pack but I am too awake to sleep so I go eat breakfast.

6 35 am Mr and Mrs Stelling are already eating breakfast. I join them. Mr Stelling ate something bad at the Brussels Grill and did not sleep at all. But I talk him out of going to the doctor before he goes on the flight. Hello! I really did not feel like going to the dr on the last day. He is cool. He is funny. I didn’t get his humor in the beginning and thought they were critisizing me, but he is fun. Invited me to his place in New York State. Other passengers come in and start talking

7 am I finally have some time to do some packing.

8 30 am I go down to say goodbye to the third bus departure but there is no luggage yet. Some people took it down themselves. I ask the front desk where Guiseppe is (the luggage guy). Incredible how slow the staff is in the hotel Guiseppe is nowhere to be found, so I go up and bring luggage down myself. After 6 suitcases I lash out at the front desk that this is not my task. I am VERY pissed. I need to calm myself or I start an avalanche of criticism to the hotel staff who is slow and unable to speak and understand dutch.

8 45 am Guiseppe brings down the last piece of luggage after I had brought down 12 already. He is a nice Guiseppe looking guy but still. I already forget about it. I ask Florence Arnold if she will be fine. I should go with her to the airport as she is the only one taking an SK flight and the others take BA or UA. But she says she will manage. However, when I ask her where she is flying to she has no idea where. I worry about her. She invited me to her 90^th birthday in May. In Seatlle. Hope she makes it. Very irresponsible of ther children to let her go on her own. Mr STelling promises me he will take her to the correct check in counter.

9 am Puffy needs ten euro. She doesn’t ask it; she says: give me ten euro, I need to buy an extra bag.

11 am The last people to depart sit together in the lounge. I get all the extra luggage they could not take. Two of them give a guide book on Belgium, one give me a bottle of wine which she had won after finding the longest german word (yes we do stuff like that with our passengers) and puffy gives me a Hoegaarden she bought during our supermarket visit two days before.

11 10 am I am dropped off at the train station and say goodbye and head to the train home. His trip is FINALLY over.

Vienna Brussels The End (2) BRUGES timeline

8 30 am: the bus departs to Bruges. My driver’s name is Ricardo. He is from Barcelona, Catalonia. He has been living in Aalst for 11 years and still does not speak Flemish. Hate it. But he is a nice guy; a bit too talkative and too macho, but nice.

9 am: there is an accident on the highway and we have some delay. I stop talking as nobody is listening and are still sleeping a bit.

10 am: I arrive at ‘t Zand where Roger; our local guide; meets us. Roger is funny but talks too much about his experiences with Americans than about Bruges. I love talking Bruhs with him though. He takes them to the new concert hall and starts the tour.

10 10 am: Mrs Callen asks if Roger is going to be with us for the entire day cos she does not like him. He speaks too soft and he is not informative enough. Puffy in the meantime is desperate for a restroom stop. We normally let them go on t Zand but there was no time now so we have to go the st jan hospital.

10 15 am. Puffy tells me she REALLY needs to go. I decide to already take the wc people to the wc. I don’t want puffy to embarrass her self by peeing on the street. Although to be honest I would have thought it to be funny. Two other women follow us. Byt the time Roger is at the hospital almost everyone needs a pit stop. Puffy sort of went into the men’s room and was surprised to see all the men peeing when she got out of the toilet. She informs the entire group about her funny mistake. Nobody really wants to know about it, but she continues telling it. I ask her ‘you have never seen men pee in your life?’ to which she replies ‘o honey I have seen men pee and I have seen their penises in all kinds of shapes and all kinds of colours. Circumsized and uncircumsized’. The rest of the group begs me not to ask more details.

11 25 am. Roger is still talking about the Belfry when he actually should be at the Burg and end his walking tour. But he is very talkative and just goes on and on.

11 45 am. I arrive too late, as normal, at the canal boat stop. We have to let a French group go first. The people don’t complain though. However; the captain of the little boat gets on the people’s nerves as his English is really some kind of mixture of Cockney English and Australian English. Of course the Brits come in masses to Bruges, so that is the English they want to hear. But Americans don’t understand shit of British English. The weather is fine and people are happy. But they are getting hungry.

12 30 am. I take the people to the Lace store for a demonstration. Mrs Puma has been there last year and promised to come back this year. Last year she was wearing a perfume that one of the ladies selling lace absolutely adored, so Mrs Puma had a bottle of that perfume with her. She got a lace dress for her granddaughter in return.

1 pm. People are really exhausted and tired and hungry. They feel sorry that they do not have a lot of free time. They need to meet me at 2 30 in front of the belfry or better in front of the left frituur in front of the belfry.

1 15 pm. Mrs Wilding Smith comes to talk to me about her concern for Mrs Anrold. She is fed up with the fact she needs to look after Mrs Arnold in stead of doing what she wants to do. Like visiting the Groeninge Museum. I assure her for the 10^th time this trip that she should not be so worried about Mrs Arnold and promise that I will keep an eye on her. Mrs Arnold is 89y old and totally confused. She is stubborn thinks she can still do everything on her own but is basically very lost out there on her. I put her in a restaurant and tell her she has to stay there until we meet.

1 30 pm. I go check out the Begijnhof to see it is restored yet as it wasn’t this spring. I start to worry about my group because the program tells me I have to walk them from the Grote markt to the Begijnhof and via the Minnewaterpark to the Katelijne Parking. That is a 45 minute walk! And these people are already so tired.

2pm. I see Florence leave the restaurant and wonder around. I tell here she really needs to stay at one place because she will never find her way back to the Belfry. I have her sit next to a British bloke and ask her again to remain seated there. As we are going to leave in half an hour.

2 30 pm. Almost everyone is at the frituur. The Pumas and the Shortells tell me they will go on their own to the bus stop. Puffy already wants to walk ahead and I point her where she should go. I don’t worry about them. But Florence is missing. She is not at the seat I told her to stay.

2 35 pm. People are getting worried and annoyed. Florence Arnold is still missing. I go running around the Grote Markt for a second time and find her at a post card stand and start giving her a lecture. I could not help it. I felt like a father talking to a 3y old. How the whole group was looking for her; how worried everyone was, how she really has to realize that she is getting older. She had totally forgot about the 2 30 meeting or the fact that I told her to stay seating and I think she somehow realized that she had annoyed me and the group by being so forgetful and stubborn. I take the people for a shortcut walk to the busparking as we really do not have time to do a big tour.

2 45 pm I take them to the Begijnhof via a little small alley that takes you to the brewerij of the BRugse Zot. But who is missing? Puffy! We had picked her up during our walk but she somehow got stuck behind. Puffy cannot walk fast and needs to stop quite often. But this time she was really slow. I go look for her and also start sounding like an elementary school teacher. I go crazy inside. I remind Puffy to the fact that I explicitly told her it would be a lot of walking. But she said she would manage.

2 55 pm I am fed up and go in a souvenir shop to order a taxi. I put Florence and Elaine (puffy) in a taxi. They reluctantly get in. I had sent the rest of the group inside of the Begijnhof to have a peek while doing this. I really want this day to be over as soon as possible.

3 15 pm We arrive on time at the bus stop. Elaine and Florance are already on the bus. But no Pumas and Shortells. I go crazy!!!!!!!!

3 30 pm I am sweating like hell. I ran to the Katelijnepoort to see if they were there, I ran to the begijnhof to see if they were there. Nada. I decide to drive to ‘t Zand to see if they are there (although I had explicitly said to the foursome that they should not go back to t Zand. But as I am leaving, we see them walk a bit further. They had gone to the TRAIN station instead.

3 40 pm We leave Bruges with a delay. I tell them it is there last change to ask something about Belgium they always wanted to know. In stead I have to talk about my carreer so far, my parents and my future dreams.

4 pm. I stop talking. I think I have bored the people to death with my ambition plans. But the people are just incredibly tired.

5 15 pm We arrive at the hotel. Everyone goes to the room to freshen themselves up for the farewell drink. Except Mr Anderson. He has some questions about the transfer to the airport tomorrow. He is scheduled to leave at 8 30 am for a flight at 11 30 am. I say it is enough time, but he is worried. Turns out they booked their flights themselves and they are leaving from Amsterdam airport and not from Brussels! HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 30 pm I go with mr Anderson to the train station and help them buy tickets for the next day. Mr Anderson is really delighted with my health. I just figure why not excersise some more after all the running today?

6 pm. I finally take a shower. I think of the speech I should hold.

6 30 pm Farewell Time. I stress out how lucky hey have been with the weather and appreciate their interest in Flanders and Belgium. And I wish them a safe flight. Of course there is hugging. Lots of hugging. But the hugging comes with an envelope so I don’t mind hugging at all. Even Puffy gets a hug.

7 pm I am still at the farewell party. Mrs Callen showed me the pictures of her children. Both her oldest son and daughter are married with children and then she shows the picture of her youngest daughter stating that she is 33 and SINGLE and would love my funny history lessons. I kindly thank her for the info but need to avert my eyes from the picture as the daughter looks too much like her mother. Mr Giardina sees my reaction and shows me the picture of his 26y old granddaughter who just loves to travel. He whispers: I bet you think she is prettier.

7 45 pm Mr Anderson comes talk to me again. He has lost his camera with all the pictures of the trip on the bus. I call Ricardo who is already at home. He will let me know something tomorrow.

8 pm I finally have said goodbye to the last person at the drink stand and rush to the UGC cinema to get a ticket for Lady In The Water

8 30 pm I am bored to death during the sceening. The movie sucks and I am tired. I get out of the hotel. Get myself a durum and orange juice and head to my hotel room to watch some tv.

Vienna Brussels The End (1)

The tour is over. I really had no time to continue writing on my blog. And upon my return I still can’t go online as I have this virus on my computer which is apparently very dangerous.

The nice thing about doing a post in Brussels is that you can really impress the passengers with your knowledge about your country. Even better is that nobody knows anything about Belgium; so everything you tell them is new and interesting. I left the ship in Amsterdam and didn’t stop talking for four days; apart from some stretches on the way to Bruges and coming back.

The first day looked like it was going to be difficult; but it went smooth. First stop in Delft. Visit of Delftware workshop. Good explanation. People happy. Then walk around the town in which there was a flea market going on. I did not talk too much about it, but I bought smoked eel for them which they all thought was cool. Nobody dares to eat it; but once they eat it, they love it. As soon as it started to rain, we got on the bus to Antwerp. I feared a day full of rain and jokingly said the weather would change once we get to tropical Flanders. And guess what? We cross the border and there is Lola. Excellent.

My info stroll in Antwerp was very short. I had not prepared it at all and had no idea what to talk about when we passed the Steen and the Vleeshuis. But that was all fine, as there was a pleasant surprise when we got to the Grote Markt. As we get on the market square, a brass band started to play. People really thought I had timed it for that. I took them to the church and to the Groenplaats and then basically gave them time to eat and shop and walk around. People like Antwerp, but you really need to take them to places. The weather was fine. Excellent.

The way on the A12 to Brussels is very interesting. You pass Breendonk for instance which incites you to talk about the war and stuff. Getting into Brussels was almost a city tour with the Atomium the Palace the Royal Botanical Gardens the VRT tower etc… An hour after arrival I took them for a 90 minute vicinity walk from the hotel to the Beurs to the Grote Markt through the Beenhouwerstraat back to the hotel at the Brouckere. I love doing that. It was Saturday night and the city was very busy. Really cool. They ended up eating in the Beenhouwerstraat although I told them not too.. But hey they are tourists.

Next day was the bus city tour. It was a Sunday morning we could show them much more than on normal days. It was fine weather again and people were really impressed by the size of Brussels and all the administration and government buildings. The visit of the Chocolate factory was as always very cool and the tour ended after seeing Manneken Pis. I went to sleep in the afternoon as I had gone out to the Recyclart the night before until 6am. I had a great time. I really needed going out. Dancing and Drinking. Meeting Friends.

Monday morning I took some people to the Delhaize. They loved it. I explained Advocaat and Jenever and all the beers and all the chocolate paste and all the waffles and cookies and stuff. I spent more than 40 minutes in the shop. After that I took them to the Flemish quarter near the fishmarket and through the Dansaertstraat to Sint Goriks. They loved it.

In the afternoon we had the optional to Lier. I had sent some people to Ghent and other people to the coast, but the majority went to Lier. I like LIer, it’s nice and quiet; and every time I go thete all the sidewalk bars are filled with people. But this time it was raining! There was nobody in Lier. It was boring. I really felt sorry for the people; The food in the restaurant is worth taking the optional but still I would prefer going to Ghent. Still the people were really impressed.

Brussels Vienna stress

it s getting to the end of the tour and i am more stressed than in the beginning. i had a few bad days. i had it in heidelberg. i really did not want to talk at all on the bus. then started thinking people weren t happy with that. getting paranoid a bit. next day in mainz i had to go to the dr with a passenger who has a cold. more on that later. in the afternoon i had to conduct the optional to ruedesheim where i had never been to before and had no clue what i had to do. then yesterday another optional that i had to do alone during which one of the passengers somehow got lost. today i am preparing the post in brussels and i still need to learn about delft and antwerp for the way up there on saturday. it is like i am in the exam period at school. every night studying. i was so much more relaxed on my previous trip. i also got a bit annoyed with my german colleague who is SO german when it comes to organising stuff. she has her way and cannot understand that someone does something in another way. i am like. whatever as long as the job gets done... . then this puffy woman. i hate to take her on the post. she annoys the hell out of me. there are more people that annoy me. it is the first time that i actually feel very annoyed with people this year. this one woman, who goes on the post with me as well, is just the most criticiying bitch on the trip. when everyone is having fun she thinks it is ´interesting´ but too noisy. will write a separate item on her. later. no time no. have to go. ciao..

Brussels VIenna The Pax part one the red group

Ok here we go. Summary of the people so far.

My group: mr and mrs kloep look like the most critical couple of the group. mrs k just looks angry all the time. i have seen her smile once, and i took a picture of her. mr k just wants to visit every single church he can. i do not nkow if they like the trip or me at all. strange couple. mr and mrs david are cool. both with a cane but they do not really keep the group waiting. he has this long beard that he never shaved since he was 20. he smokes a lot and is one of the most liberal unitarians. his wife has MS but does a great job walking with us. mr and mrs seibold are funny. a bit on their own. not really caring too much about what others think. she has the most bubbly face i have ever seen. as if she was made out of clay by toddlers. mrs bender, or puffy as we call her, is funny as a character. we made her dance to hiphop. she was the only one left in the lounge (the smoke bar) and we had put on some urban music and joked about her ballroom careerd and then she started shaking her hips and totting her mouth as if she was in a club trying to seduce us. arjan and i got really scared but it is an image we will keep forever. she still has not find any friend at all. she is running out of tables to sit on in the restaurant as nobody wants her. lonely and sad really. mr and mrs vilches were the people in the hotel in vienna who did nothing at all but somehow found their way now and seem to be very happy on the trip. they are quiet. mrs jensens wants to know it all. asks a lot of questions but of the interesting kind. sometimes difficult because you think she is testing your knowledge as most europeans do.

Ms tessaro is one of those people who i haven t really talked to yet. she has a cane, that i know. ms smith and mr stowe are constantly around me. she wants to set me up with ther 33 y old daughter, a veterinarian in west palm beach. unfortunatly if she looks like her mom i don t think i would fall for her. nice woman, but not so attractive. her husband died of a heart attack and she sort of hooked up with her colleague at work who had just lost his wife. mr stowe. he is strange. he likes me but he has this stern look on his face and is very lost sometimes. mr and mrs stelling are unitarians and i don t get their jokes. mrs cook is travelling with her daugher and son in law, the hancocks. i like them. he is very independent. doing tours on his own with his camera. mother and daughter are together all the time. they are very inquisitive. mrs cook is the kindn of old woman you wish as a grandmother. the persons are also strange, unitarians of course. he is still danish, she just talks and talks. she does not eat cream and stuff but apart from that she is ok. she is loud though especially during talks and lectures when she plays bridge. mr and mrs davis are two lonely souls on this trips. she is on coke i think. the most active person on the ship. we dock and before the sailors but out the walkway she already hikes up the hill. i had them participate in quizes and competitions on the ship and they always win. very comptetitve beings. mr davis has a dirty mind. There is a lovers foot in heidelberg castle. whoevers foot fits in the imprint is a good lover. his shoes are too big however. so i joked about it, but then he starts a discussion about how size matters and stuff. i liked the conversation but not in front of all the people, but we continued alter no our own. it is cool to talk about penis sizes and sex performance with 75y old americans. haha.

mrs goldfarb and mr edelman are jewish of course from new york. he is funny. they hang out with the pumas and the shortels. mr puma is a funny small italo american laywer, mr shortell a tall irish accountant. they look like a comic duo. mrs puma is the funniest. she talks like the sopranos talk and gest very excited when i help her out of the bus. she is so much fun. mrs knoepfler is on her own as her husband is in the hospital. she is fine though, thought of flying home to be with him, but continues the trip. mr wick and mrs weiss are the leaders of the unitarian group. they go off on their own as well. he loves castles ant he middle ages. he is the kind of guy who i talk about star wars with. too young for this crowd though. mrs thompson speaks german and has done the trip before. very difficult to deal with because i think she is a spy who checks everything. she says she likes the trip and us but i am not sure. mrs arnold is very old but dies her hair ginger for some reason. i don t quite get her. criticezes a lot. the menards get along with people from the blue group, but they are nice. she is funnier than she looks. he is nicer than he looks. the parks are funny too. she is a singer, he does something else. somehow they match. just like the sneaths. they are so sweet, petite couple, look alike. nice people. mr and mrs way. to be honest, i have no idea who they are. hm. mr greime is on her own i never see her talk to anyone. the schotts are great too. he has a farm near san diego. great guy.

Brussels Vienna Ratings

The tour is going great so far. the team is good. people are nice. weather up until today good as well. nothing special to note.

but i am tired though. i look it, some people thought i had gone out yesterday because of my tired eyes. the reason for that is that i am reading and preparing a lot the night before. sometimes i feel like i am constantly doing an exam. on my last trip i just had fun and couldnt care less really. but this time i am more nervous.

my boss called me before i started this trip that i do not score well on learning and discovery. people like me and all but apparently thez do not learn or discover enough. Of course, the people on my last cruise just came to relax and not to learn. they did not go on the info strolls or to the lectures etc. so of course they do not think they learned or discovered a lot. however, it is true that i sometimes just talk crap all the time. i thought it was fun, but apparently some people just want to learn a lot.

so i am reading and constantly referring to the words learning and discovery so that when they fill out the form they will remember it. i made them look for the longest german word today. hope that gives them something extra to look for. yesterday in wertheim they had to find the oldest high water mark and the name of the mayor. we did that last time too and nobody was interested, this time they were like school kids who asked around. fun

i do not caer about my ratings so much, but the guy in the office who gives tours only goes by ratings. so if my overall rating isn t so good they will not offer me a new tour. i have not been offered any tour for october yet.

Brussels Vienna Knights Of Columbus

The patriot group of 12 who i referred to as the macho men turn out to be very nice tourists. they are loud and obnoxious at times and seeing them wear the american eagle flag on their jackets does scare a bit, but they are cool. they belong, as all americans seem to do, to a relgious group called the Knights Of Columbus. Very catholic, tzpical of Massachusettes, now that i read about it, they look like a fraternity. they were on my bus, so i hope they did not get offended with my negative biased opinion about the fraternities.

the unitarians are a bit wacko in the sense that they are really just normal agnostic people but they seem to be organised in a church anyway. i learned today that thomas jefferson was a unitarian. you learn something everyday. not that i will use that knowledge, but still..

Vienna Brussels Rainy Heidelberg and politics

Today is the first day that we have rain. In heidelberg of all places. the people who bought the optional are a bit upset of course, but somehow do not complain at all. i just sent them off with the local guides.

I like heidelberg, i even like guiding in the castle which we have to do ourselves, but i do not like our visit to the fraternity house. fraternities are something from the past. nothing i want to be associated with. very elite and arrogant. the majority of the people agree with me on that.

it is nice being back in heidelberg. i will do some more walking around. i talk to the people about my time here. i like talking about it. this was a cool period in my life.

i was just asked about my political opinion. the people who asked me are really left wing anti bush unitarians. i tried to be diplomatic but they really wanted to know what i vote. fortunatly enough the local guides just arrived. it is a bit difficult at times when they ask you that. four of my group are proud of bush although they looked very liberal to me. they do not expect me to be pro bush but i cannot be anti bush either. i diplomatically tell them i understand why people vote for bush. oh well.

i think it is 55-45 on the ship. 45 being the supporters of bush. the anti bush people just express their opinion stronger

Vienna Brussels NUernburg in the SUn and Marilyn Manson

this is such good weather. i fear so much that it will start raining when i get to brussels. but we have not have one drop of rain yet. the weather is really making the people enjoy the trip. we are in nuernburg right now and the city is totally different when the sun shines. we did not go to the court of the trials and went to the castle in stead. it was great. beautiful view. good local guide who made them imagnie they were enemies who try to invade the castle. (our guests do like this stuff) and they just have fun. the previous times i was here there was a depressing feeling in nuernberg because the clients get a lecture on the nazis and they can visit the excellent but moving museum. but now everybody just wants to eat sausages and go shopping.

ps. this morning the local guide talked about the party rally grounds where Bob Dylan performed once, having the people look at him with their backs to the place where once Hilter addressed the crowds. Then he talked about Marilyn Manson performing there too and i was surprised that half of the group knew who marilyn manson was. of course half of my group are weird hippies.

Vienna Brussels Unitarian Universalists and the Black Sheep

My colleagues and I are starting to joke with the UUs a bit. Thez are nice people and they mean no harm but they are just so incredibly into a religion that is not a religion the way i see it. i ask them a lot of questions about it and they do not seem to know the answers. my colleague joked about the fact that by the end of the tour they will start doubting about their religion, that they will think ´nico made me realise that i do not really know what my religion is´. so basically i should stop asking them questions

i called the UU rep in Frankfurt. he is american. there are no UUs in germany. There are german unitarians but ´american universalists won t stand them´is what he told me. I think they are just a bunch of hippies who sort of needed to form a community in the seventies.

a few things that i thought were not that ´good hearted´:

Arjan did a speech about the Main Danube canal but the UUs were playing bridge and talked/laughed out loud not even considering the fact that 80 people try to listen to what arjan was saying.
One of the UU is a almost demented old lady who signed up for three optional tours, but three of the others came to tell me that she is not up to doing those tours. i had a conversation with the old woman who got really mad that they would interfere with her choices.
And then the way they react to our black sheep. They avoid her, criticize her. even laugh at her. Not so good hearted really.

There is one older lady UU who is so grandmotherly sweet that you just want to take her home. She is so nice. but she came to ask me almost in panic who she was sharing a room with in Brussels. She feared she had to share the room with that ´elaine´woman (the black sheep) but when i told here she had to share with the almost demented UU woman, she sighed.

The Black Sheep is called Elaine Bender. She is really quite something. She is very annoying but she is cool to talk about though. She has a few nicknames already. Some call her the walking sigaret or that elaine woman , but most people call her Puffy. She is incredible in her rudeness and antisocial behaviour. SHe interferes in every single conversation. i think she ate at almost every passenger table already and nobody wants her. She takes stuff out of other peoples plates to taste them. She lost her sun glasses and accused some people of taking them. she accused me for pointing her out to the wrong directions. I wish she did get lost. I think half of the people in the lounge play bridge but she asked us to make an announcement that if there were people who play bridge they have to sign up. Duh. we made a sign up sheet though and when the four people who were on there got together and saw elaine had come up with the idea they suddenly had a headache or had taken a sleeping pill. Elaine is from new york, is 78 and worked as nurse. I cannot imagine how many people wanted to die knowing that she would be treating them. anways. she is from nyc and today in nuernburg our driver got mad at some bikers and was quite offensive in his use of words. She said: finally a driver with an attitude that i like! After the city tour she asked the local guide where she could get sigarettes. mr puma (a cool italo american lawyer) replied: yeah, smoke some more, it will kill you faster. followed by laugher of the group

Vienna Brussels Unitarian Universalists

I have 23 people in my group who are Unitarian Universalists. They responded to an add in their church paper. They did not know each other before joining together on the ship and i have the impressiont that they still do not know each other. they are 23 different individuals who have not so much things in common.

i still do not get the relgion/church. i got brochures but those explain what UU are NOT. Bascially they are liberal christians who believe in love and tolerance and all the good things of life. when i read their brochures i read everything i agree to. there is nothing that i oppose to. however there is also nothing that seems to connect them. they believe in freedom and choice and indivualism. all very me. but i asked someone: why the need to give that a name and a church community

some of them are very strange though. others are very cool the husband of the person who brought them together told me ´he does not give a damn´about that ´shit´. strange reaction. i need to talk to them more. i really do not get their religion

they are christians who split from the others when the holy trinity came important in the catholic church. they do not believe in that. nor in hell. nor in salvation. nor in al those other things. they do believe in one god but you cannot talk about it. it is a substance.

i have to get them to the UNitatarian church in frankfurt but they do not reply my emails.

more on that later i guess

Vienna Brussels Habemus Papam

I saw the pope. I rushed from the ship to the street where he was passing by with his papamobil and took a nice shot of him waving at the people next to me.

I remember times when i thought of throwing stuff at John Paul II, but with this guy i was really into him being in Regensburg. I sort of like Ratzinger. He is German. he looks like the devil, enjoys being so popular and does not really have an opinion. i mean he doesn t express it. he is cool. he is like what a king should be: just someone who represents something but isnt really that important.

the fact that regensburg was totally car free today was excellent. people liked the quietness. most of them were excited too even though not that many are catholic. on the ship of our colleagues some people were angry that the pope was there cos it messed up their program. they had a city tour in the afternoon, we had it in the morning.

we put this super cool picture of benidicto on our flipchart that we cut out of the magazine Stern. it is like he is floating. definitly photoshop. we had all great ideas of putting funny quotes above the picture but arjan had already imitated the pope during his port talk that we did not want to go too much over the edge. we did write a text balloon saying HELLO HARMONY though, being the name of our ship.. .and we put BAVARIAN PRIDE as well to it.

We also challenged the people to take the best picture of the pope. some people came to show the pictures and some of them got really close. however, i am the winner

i have a great picture of the pope. and i am glad to have seen him. it did not do anything spiritual to me. it is more one of those 100 things to see before you die things. and honestly i think he is cooler than jean paul II. he is really like the Emperor of Star Wars ready to kill people with fire, but then in a funny sort of way.

Vienna Brussels Hansio

Hansio is a very funny entertainer. He is bavarian and does not speak english at all. he plays all kinds of instruments. sometimes at the same time. keyboard. saxophone, klarinet, flute. He plays polka and walzes and boogie woogie and samba. But the nicest thing is that he interacts with the people.

he brings people on stage, they get instruments in the hands and funny bavarian hats on their head. he makes people laugh and people can be the star. last tour the people were nt really into it, but this time he had them laughing. of course the macho patriotic guys were picked out of the crowd. much funnier is when the women come on stage. he always picks out one woman who has to beat a big drum. as soon as she starts she beats a hole in the drum which is made out of paper of course. last time the woman was really shocked by having ´destroyed´the drum, this time the ´victim´acted along. great fun

of course we have to dance to. arjan took our black sheep who has been dubbed the walking sigaret by our other clients and was rewarded hero of the day afterwards. everyone is talking about that woman who interrupts any conversations she can interrupt. she also lost her sunglasses and let everyone know that she lost them. she pretends to be a ballroom dancer but sucked dancing with arjna. i danced with a few people. one of which was an older lady who came to ask me for a dance. she had not danced in ages and needed a dance. this is the third time it happens to me and i am happy to give them what they want.

the final game of hansio is great competition. It is like muscial chair but with a twist. ten couples on the dancefloor, men have a newspaper folded up in their back jeans pocket and have to dance with their women. when the music stops, the woman has to take the newspaper out, unfold it, put it on the floor and jump on it. HEAVY COMPETITION people. really heavy competition. last time they cheated, but this time they played it fair. the people i thought would win, won. They are the most competitive active people on the trip. you have no idea.

Vienna Brussels Macho Men 2

we went to the beergarden in Regensburg today. we got 40 people. almost a third of our group, to join us. it was fun. some of the people who went with us really wanted to experience the thing. i don t have such an adventurous group so i only had a few people go with us, but the macho gang from rebecca s group went along. my god. these men..

i like them. i like old macho men in general. they are so over the top macho that it is funny. these guys are patriotic thought. yesterday was 9 11 and they asked if they could put an american flag on our hospitality desk. which we did. they were happy. then at dinner time we had one minute silence. also very liked and asked for by the same gang. we had fun entertainment on board yesterday and thew really were the stars of the evening. fun people but not really the most popular

tonight at the beer garden they were at their best again. some of their questions and remarks are really interesting. one of them asked: the german tourguide was talking about the nazis this morning as if they were from another country. i mean the germans were nazis why doesnt he talk about them as his people?´a reaction to that questions from another guy: ´yeah we bombed vietnam, i am proud of them, i don t care talking about that´.. then they started discussing amongst each other. the older men just served in WWII and say it was the biggest war ever, but the others who fought in vietnam and korea boasted their war was bigger and worse because they never won... arjan does not like these conversations. i find them very interesting.

these guys like rebecca, but they just tease her a lot. but rebecca is cool and really knows how to deal with them. their wives were on the ship of course. really it s 6 buddies going drinking. but somehow they do listen to what we say and are quite polite and funny. yet they are so patriotic. with american flag jacket and all. some people find it scary.

Vienna Brussels Passau Morning

an ordinary morning on this trip

6 30 am: i get up and need to prepare my city walk in Passau. i was too tired the day before and i am panicking a bit as my superiors said i scored bad on ´learning and discovery´.

7 am : i get to breakfast because i want to be the only one and avoid answering questions. i am number 2. number one was waiting for the restaurant to open

7 20 am: the info somehow gets back when i read it. i feel more comfortable. passau is an easy city to talk about

8 30: i join my colelagues who think that i just got up. they are alreadz preparing things for our german lesson.

8 40 someone comes ask me if she can see a doctor as her feet are swollen
8 43 someone asks if we can get him to the dentist
8 45 someone asks about the lost luggage he is stil missing.. it is day 3
8 49 someone asks where she can buy sigarettes (the black sheep)
8 50 someone asks about skipping lunch on the ship and what to do
8 52 someone asks if there will be lots of walking today (the black sheep)
8 53 ...

9 30 Arjan starts reading a funny thing in English about the German language
9 35 Rebecca starts teaching them Guten Morning and stuff and also learns them Bavarian slang
9 45 I take over and teach them the numbers and joke about the military German we laugh with in Flanders and how my father learned the word ´RAUS´.. people laugh
9 55 We play a first sketch where i am the tourist (all dressed like one) who enters a restaurant. Arjan is the waiter. I wait to be seated (not done here), i sit at a stammtisch (only for locals), i make the waiter sign (rude here), i order water and get sprankling water, i order beer and wurst and eat with my knife try to pay with visa etc... I really act american and show them what they do wrong.. people laugh
10 10 Second sketch: i am the american who needs to go to the toilet with all the obstacles. first go to Damen iso Herren, then i need to pay, again no change... people laugh loud when i release myself

10 20 we arrive in passau on time. people get ready

10 35 i start my walk on the Danube. Lots of things to talk about.. i love Passau. Danube, white gold = salt, Prince bishops, rivers Ilz and Inn, Hitler almost drawning, high water marks, etc.. I am on a roll... The weather is beautiful, people ask lots of questions but i can answer them all which makes me feel really comfortabel, i am talking so much that i forget about the organ concert at noon ni the Stephan s cathedral. i skip the city hall and sissy´s hotel...

noon: the organ concert is BORING. i love the church from the inside. baroque is heaven. but i hate the music. this is NOISE

Vienna Brussels Zero Independence

I have a couple in my group who did a pre in Vienna but did not see anything. I did not see them for three days until they had to get on the bus to the ship. i asked them how thez liked Vienna and thez were disappointed becaused thez had not seen anything. Here is the conversation i had with them. This is not a unique case though.

Me: So how was your stay in Vienna
They: Well very disappointing. we did not see anything.
Me: how do you mean?
They: Well nobody took us anywhere
Me: But you did go on the city tour right?
They: Well nobody told us when that was
Me: But i saw you at the briefing. You even handed in an empty optional tour form and told us you did not want any of the optionals.
They: well we are used to having everyhting included
Me: the city tour was included
They: oh really? we thought that was an optional
Me: So sorry to hear that. And you did not walk around
They: A little bit but we are old and cannot walk that far.
Me: so what did you do?
They: we played bridge in the hotel room
Me: I assumed that you would discover the citz on your own, you should have contacted us
They: we are used to someone conatacting us and not the other way around
Me: ok
They: And we did not get to see any concert
Me: well we had an optional musical viena
They: we don t want humpapa music
Me: it is Mozart and Strauss
They: oh, but you said humpapa
Me: not really, that is for a tour in Ruedesheim
They: but we wanted to see a real concert
Me: you could have bought tickets from those tradionally dressed people on the street
They: (upset and suprised) we are not going to buy anything from people on the street
Me: ok
They: And would we have gotten there?
Me: walking? public transport? Taxi?
They: We can´t walk and we are not fond of public transport and a taxi means an extra cost
Me (fake smile): ok, well, as of now, if you have questions don t be afraid to come see me, i don t want you just stay in your hotel
They: and you are?????

Vienna Brussels. pre trip Day One

I like Vienna. It is a beautiful city, but I need more time here to find it´s soul. Colleagues who live here rave about the city and tell me about the good nightlife etc., but I haven´t gone out here at all and it really looks like place for retired tourists.

The buildings along the Ringstrasse are just magnificent to use the correct word. That Austrian Empire used to be quite something. Every building just is a masterpiece on its own and American tourists are blown away by the amount of stately decorated constructions that they might only see in an old State Capital.

The sun is shining so Vienna looks really nice. I don´t like the Stephansdom at all, but I love baroque architecture of Vienna. It looks as rich as the country itself. If you ever go there, take the streetcar 1 or 2 and make a tour around the Ringstrasse and you will see it al. It is such a simple city to discover.

In the evening we take some people on a tour to Grinzing and the vineyards of the 19th district of Vienna. Nice tour. We drive up there and then we get no a Choo Choo train to the top of the hill for a beautiful view over the city and its vineyards and end in a place where they can drink the local wine and taste the local dishes (soup, salad, schnitzel, chicken, and a icecreamy dessert). They love it and it is a nice excursion.

Vienna Brussels. pre trip MACHO MEN

Apart from the black sheep some other people have managed to make an impression. One group in particular is a group of macho friends with their wifes. They were very loud at the airport and during the briefing, but not in an annoying way. They got VERY loud during our Heurige trip tonight (a traditional wine drinking evening in Vienna) after they mixed beer and wine. They are not in my group so I did not hear them sing all the way back to the hotel, but apparently they had great fun singing ´God Bless America´and ´Proud to be an American´etc.

I am not sure yet what to think of them. They are fun and I really like playing with their macho thing. I took them to the first supermarket we encountered where they could be their six pack of the day. I joke back when they ask silly questions during the briefing if ´we will have fish rods on the ship´ as they want to go fishing. One of them has plenty tattoos and looks like a lifetime truck driver. Another one is the jester of the crowd. Another one has no manners and just asks ´where he can get American food´ (hello! try and taste local food) or why we wait so long after i just explained that there are two women who need to get on the bus from the airport but have some trouble with luggage and immigration. The logical reaction if he wouldn´t appreciate it if we waited on him in such a case, made him shut up.

They are the kind of people who will be dirnking a lot. I can joke with them, but they look really not the kind of tourists you want to mess around with. Their wifes are completly invisible, don´t drink at all or don´t sing along. It´s really an old men´s club with wifes. Not sure what that will give at the classical music concert tomorrow.

Vienna Brussels. pre trip BLACK SHEEP

I just started a new tour in Vienna. It´s day 2 now after a day of arrivals, which basically is the first day. It´s funny how you can already have an idea of what the people will be like on tour after just one day. I already know who the people will be to ´look out for´ or who will be the sweet kind of people.

The arrival day went smoothly, with only three cases of lost luggage. And two delayed arrivals. It could be worse. A colleague of mine had a group of which 20 people never saw their bags until the end of the trip. Fun is something different. Some people managed to make a first and lasting impression. They always say that ´you never have a second chance to make a first impression´ and that counts for tourists to. There is one lady, maybe I will add names later, who is just the black sheep of the group already. She is an old single woman from NYC who has NO social skills whatsoever and feels like she is the most important person in the world. She doesn´t listen. Asks the same question over and over again. Is totally dependent on others. Lazy, naively arrogant and annoying to others. She smokes. Stops every 10 meter to breathe. Talks to everyone but does not listen to what the other person is saying.

A few examples. * We do a vicinity walk where I point out things and show them how to get to the city centre from the hotel. As we are walking she asks us to stop because she saw something in a shop. I ask she needs something urgently and she says it is just something she wanted to look at. Hello! There are 30 other people on the vicinity walk, who don´t understand how someone can be so blunt to think that they all would wait for her. * At the airport I get her a cart to put her luggage on, but she expects me to push it for her. I already push a cart with 6 pieces on there of the people who i thought were much weaker than she was. Hello! She compares this with her last trip in Costa Rico, where the tour guide did help her. Honey, this is Europe! * She just did a city tour of 4 hours in Vienna during which the tour guide gives plenty of options to do in the free time, but yet she asks: is there something to see in Vienna? * We get back from a tour at night and she asks what the building with all the lights are on the right side when i am talking about the Kursalon and the Strauss statue on the left side. Ít s the Radisson hotel´some annoyed passengers shout at her. * She stresses out for the third time that i should not leave her behind because a tour guide did in Costa Rica. ´I imagine why?´is the reply of the rest of the passengers.

She is already the black sheep of the group. I started feeling a bit sorry for her tonight after everyone on the bus laughed with the ´I imagine why´comment. I have her in the group for three weeks all the way to Brussels. But she is very annoying to. She really asks stupid questions all the time and just asks them while I am talking to other passengers. This is going to be a tough one. I am excited to see how that will work out with the others.